I’ve-Lost-My-Spark Day
Welcome to Cosmic Stories. Today I want to take you along on an “I’ve-lost-my-spark day.” One of those days where you briefly doubt everything and everyone. The name “I’ve-lost-my-spark day” was invented by my husband, Martijn. His loving—and especially understanding—approach on days like this is incredibly valuable and comforting. Thanks to his humor, these days got a fitting name. Let me take you to March 2, 2025.
On a day like today I woke up and immediately felt the vibe was off compared to “normal” days. It’s as if the magic and flow of other days just aren’t there. I got up and deviated completely from my usual morning routine. No big deal—I’m pretty flexible. Still, I didn’t feel truly connected to my authentic self.
I find myself standing in front of the mirror, getting annoyed by things I usually like and accept. Basically, I’ve lost my mojo—like Austin Powers would say. The motivation to really take care of myself and do my makeup just wasn’t there. What I do want to say is that, as I’m writing this, I’m experiencing a new feeling—a new insight.
It’s amazing to notice: 1) it’s been a long time since I felt this way, 2) it didn’t last the whole day, and 3) I’m totally okay with it—and that it’s allowed to be here. It feels like a reality check: “Hey, look how you’re growing!” Without down-days you wouldn’t truly recognize the up-days.
I also notice I did a few things differently than on “I’ve-lost-my-spark days” in the past. I surrendered completely to this temporary state of being. I gave these emotions their own stage and didn’t push them away. Talking it through calmly with Martijn is really helpful. Here’s a little example of such a conversation. I said: “Well, I’m not sure… I refurbished the whole studio—does it really make me happy?” By entering the conversation from vulnerable strength—with Martijn, but actually with myself—instead of fighting it like I used to, I found calm and a good feeling.
A different vibe
Having a partner like Martijn is so valuable to me. He is non-judgmental and responds respectfully to me and my process. His reaction was: “Are you sure? How did you feel the other day when you told me about that client you loved helping?”
And then I can’t help but be honest with myself and admit that helping people—in any form—makes me deeply happy, in my beautiful workspace that now reflects what I want, how I feel, and where I have the flexibility to express myself in many different ways and support others.
After that good conversation—mostly self-reflection with a healthy dose of self-irony—I felt it was time to ground myself, to connect with Nature. You could call it my “church”: the place where I feel connected with myself, everything and everyone—a place of beauty and unity. My safe harbor. We decided to go to the beach in Katwijk together. We love the sea. After a short drive we arrived at Katwijk aan Zee, right by a beach entrance.
Connecting with nature
Yes, I actually hold the belief that I always find a parking spot at the door—or close by. Confirmed again. Off came our slippers and shoes. It was a bit chilly, 8 degrees, but if you decide it’s warm, you’ll be fine.
The negative ions by the sea, blowing through your hair and caressing your face, really are natural pick-me-ups. After a lovely walk through sand and surf, we were recharged and I felt ready for a fresh start!
Who says you can’t start over again during the day? Just do it!
Toen ik me dat realiseerde, veranderde mijn hele dag. We hadden een feestje van een dierbare vriendin die met pensioen gegaan was en ik voelde me zo goed dat ik mezelf mooi aangekleed en opgemaakt had. Wie had dat gedacht die ochtend. Door selfcare en zelfliefde toe te passen, vond ik mijn ei weer.
When I realized that, my whole day shifted. We had a party for a dear friend who had just retired, and I felt so good that I dressed up and did my makeup beautifully. Who would’ve thought that, after that morning? By practicing self-care and self-love, I found my spark again.
I became a happy egg again.
With love,
Nancy